No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
