1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
