i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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