just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
