WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
