You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's never too late to be topless.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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