I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
