so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
