His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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