Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
