If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
