this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
