I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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