Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
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my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
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I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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