Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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