I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
