she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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