I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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