He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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