youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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