I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
