Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
is wine microwaveable?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
