I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
