oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Mom said you looked used
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
