I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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