Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings

  (718): View more from New York

  He can't hurt my feelings

  (718): View more from New York

  I don't have feelings.

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  (212): he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings (718): He can't hurt my feelings (718): I don't have feelings. http://tfl.nu/gr1o
  Replies (4) Good night (2085) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

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  (925): I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :( http://tfl.nu/pd8d
  Replies (26) Good night (545) Bad night (3614)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.

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  (765): A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this. http://tfl.nu/a7q9
  Replies (28) Good night (2168) Bad night (3723)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.

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  (845): You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you. http://tfl.nu/t7go
  Replies (21) Good night (4665) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate

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  (832): im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate http://tfl.nu/io2z
  Replies (20) Good night (1234) Bad night (3351)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning

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  (904): to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning http://tfl.nu/efma
  Replies (8) Good night (1039) Bad night (2648)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.

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  (970): But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips. http://tfl.nu/821r
  Replies (27) Good night (2790) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?

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  (989): Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door? http://tfl.nu/0vtl
  Replies (5) Good night (1413) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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  (641): This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game. http://tfl.nu/44fx
  Replies (13) Good night (1513) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic

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  (310): If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic http://tfl.nu/pi8f
  Replies (0) Good night (1115) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA

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  (214): IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA http://tfl.nu/ecmd
  Replies (16) Good night (763) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!

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  (601): This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK! http://tfl.nu/gkpr
  Replies (11) Good night (1293) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies

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  (310): yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies http://tfl.nu/gofo
  Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!

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  (308): I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!! http://tfl.nu/47bh
  Replies (4) Good night (867) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.

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  (775): Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me. http://tfl.nu/b0yd
  Replies (4) Good night (295) Bad night (575)

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