If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"