I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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