remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
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just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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