I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.