well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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