"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
