please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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