I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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