Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize