Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
