I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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