so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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