I puked a lego.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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