I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
