His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she pinky promised me she was 18
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I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize