can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
