i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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