im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
