TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
