DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
