So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
