I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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