someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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