your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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