the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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