tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..