but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
pray to the hookup gods