I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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