apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
