What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
