I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize