Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
