i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
