Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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