I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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