So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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