chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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