I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize