Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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