I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize