so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
