either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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